Help Your Preschooler Gain Self-Control

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When asked about developing泭skills to navigate school, many teachers point to activities that泭help children develop ways to interact in a group, such as following through when a task is difficult and listening to泭directions for a few minutes. These skills are linked to self-control. Children can develop them at preschool and at home. Here are a few ways families can help children learn self-control.
Change the rules of a game to make it an opposite game.泭For example, instead of playing the familiar version of Simon Says, play Simon Doesnt Say. Explain the new rule in words and actions: Do the opposite of what Simon asks you to do. If Simon Says Touch your head, you should touch your toes. Be sure to demonstrate how this works. Keep directions simple. Take turns being Simon.
Finish what you are doing, then respond to requests for attention.泭For example, if you are on the phone and your child asks for something (and its not an emergency), let her know you need to take time to complete your conversation. This is a good way to let your child practice waiting for a short time.
Do activities together that require following directions.泭For example, put together a model, play follow the leader, or cook or bake: Im going to read the recipe aloud. Listen carefully so we will both know what to do. Ill read them again as we do each step.
Help children understand how long they will have to wait for something and suggest activities to do while they wait.泭Say to your child, Grammy and Grampy are coming over before dinner. Would you like to draw some pictures to give them? or As soon as I put your sister to bed, I will read you some stories. You can choose three books for us to read together.
Work with your child to complete a puzzle that has a few more pieces than he or she is used to.泭Set up the puzzle in a place where you can work on it for several days, if needed. Celebrate together when one of you puts the last piece in place.
Plant some easy-to-grow marigold seeds in a pot or in a garden.泭Check together every day until the plants pop up. Over time, watch the plant grow leaves and flowers.
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Source: Adapted from the Message in a Backpack, Teaching Young Children 4 (2): 23
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