Help Your Preschooler Gain Self-Control
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When asked about developing听skills to navigate school, many teachers point to activities that听help children develop ways to interact in a group, such as following through when a task is difficult and listening to听directions for a few minutes. These skills are linked to self-control. Children can develop them at preschool and at home. Here are a few ways families can help children learn self-control.
Change the rules of a game to make it an opposite game.听For example, instead of playing the familiar version of Simon Says, play Simon Doesn鈥檛 Say. Explain the new rule in words and actions: 鈥淒o the opposite of what Simon asks you to do. If Simon Says 鈥楾ouch your head,鈥� you should touch your toes.鈥� Be sure to demonstrate how this works. Keep directions simple. Take turns being Simon.
Finish what you are doing, then respond to requests for attention.听For example, if you are on the phone and your child asks for something (and it鈥檚 not an emergency), let her know you need to take time to complete your conversation. This is a good way to let your child practice waiting for a short time.
Do activities together that require following directions.听For example, put together a model, play follow the leader, or cook or bake: 鈥淚鈥檓 going to read the recipe aloud. Listen carefully so we will both know what to do. I鈥檒l read them again as we do each step.鈥�
Help children understand how long they will have to wait for something and suggest activities to do while they wait.听Say to your child, 鈥淕rammy and Grampy are coming over before dinner. Would you like to draw some pictures to give them?鈥� or 鈥淎s soon as I put your sister to bed, I will read you some stories. You can choose three books for us to read together.鈥�
Work with your child to complete a puzzle that has a few more pieces than he or she is used to.听Set up the puzzle in a place where you can work on it for several days, if needed. Celebrate together when one of you puts the last piece in place.
Plant some easy-to-grow marigold seeds in a pot or in a garden.听Check together every day until the plants pop up. Over time, watch the plant grow leaves and flowers.
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Source: Adapted from the Message in a Backpack, Teaching Young Children 4 (2): 23
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